


A Continuing Encounter Of A Sexual Nature, Technically Arranged By One Doctor Leonard McCoy, Punctuated By The Fucking Klingons, And Preluded By A Whole Lot Of Pining

by The_Gay_Infiltrator



Series: 24 Days of Fanfic for Cowgirlchica [16]
Category: Star Trek TOS - Fandom
Genre: (ear kink is non canonical), (if you couldn't tell I love that movie), (that is canonical), 1701, Bones hates transporters, Bones ships it, Ear Kink, I HAD SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES FOR QUOTES FROM PATTERNS OF FORCE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, I am literally McCoy, I don't care I'm doing it anyway, I don't even care, I hate these idiots, I love Pavel Chekov he is amazing, I swear, I'M SCREAMING, IT IS OBLIGATORY THAT KIRK'S SHIRT GET RIPPED, Jim is TOTALLY the little spoon tho omg, LIKE IN THE END OF STAR TREK THE MOTION PICTURE OMG, M/M, Matchmaker McCoy, SO MANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES FOR SMUT, Slow Burn, Spock being cold, THE AREA OF PENETRATION WILL NO DOUBT BE SENSITIVE, THERE BE WHALES HERE, This Simple Feeling, Too) so there be Chulu here, Vulcan Kisses, Vulcans have no gag reflex, WHY IS THE DOCTOR ON THE FUCKING BRIDGE INSTEAD OF IN SICKBAY, aka being alone on planets while you wait for the transporter to be fixed, and I didn't even take them, at some point, basically everyone ships it, between the pining and the smut probably, but ESPECIALLY Bones, but only for a little bit, can you do brackets inside of brackets, emotionally repressed idiots, finally smut though, have fun with this, i think, i'm such a loser, it actually sort of applies as well, it might be canonical I'm not sure, its in the same universe as Blame The Vodka (But Thank It, kill me now, let's be honest Vulcan smut, not really - Freeform, please captain not in front of the klingons, please read these I need appreciation for my sarcastic literary genius, porn with humour (and a little bit of adventure), shit this got really possessive, so does Sulu, sort of, sort of Chulu, subtle Supernatural references in here somewhere, telepathy cliche, the finger kink is also canonical, this got REALLY schmoopy at the end, this one is really long, transporter malfunctions because that's basically all that ever happens on this show, until they get married, with good reason, wow who am I, ya know cause he's A DOCTOR, yay possessive Vulcan sex, you really need to watch TOS to fully appreciate this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:19:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Gay_Infiltrator/pseuds/The_Gay_Infiltrator





	1. In Which Kirk Discovers Spock's Ears Are Sensitive, Spock Is Cold, And The Transporter Malfunctions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cowgirlchica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowgirlchica/gifts).



The search party beamed down to the planet Theta III's surface. Well, I say search party, but really it consisted of just Spock, Kirk, and his raging repressed feelings for Mr. Spock. Fortunately for Jim, the planet's surface was cold. Quite cold actually, so there was no risk of him popping a boner on the planet's surface and embarrassing himself in front of Spock. They ran the routine scan, Jim trying very hard to not start babbling to Spock about his feelings. "Are you all right Jim? You're unusually quiet." Spock observed calmly  
"I'm fine, Spock. Just a little bit cold." Jim replied truthfully.  
They finished the scan in companionable silence, communicating in glances and nods. "Kirk to Enterprise. Scotty?"  
"Here, Captain."  
"Beam us up, Scotty."  
"Aye aye, Captain."  
They waited for Scotty to beam them up, but the rushing tingly feeling never came. Kirk flipped open his communicator again. "Kirk to Enterprise. Scotty, what's going on?"  
"The transporter isn't functioning, sir. We're working on it right now!"  
"How long, Mr. Scott?" Spock cut in.  
Scotty sighed. "At least 24 hours to pinpoint and fix the problem, that's my guess."  
"Thank you, Mr. Scott." Kirk closed the communicator again. Fuck.  
"Captain, the temperature on this planet can get to at least 140 degrees below freezing. The probability of us surviving this is only fractionally larger than zero."  
Kirk's treacherous brain shot images of him and Spock having to cuddle to keep warm, and he had to shake his head vigorously to clear it. "Captain, are you alright?"  
Kirk glanced guiltily at Spock and then nodded. Jim wanted to squeeze Spock's hand for reassurance but he patted him on the shoulder instead. "We'll make it, Mr. Spock."  
"I hope so, Jim."  
They sat by the beam-up location, again in silence. They sat for what seemed like hours,(but was really only as much as a half an hour or an hour) as the temperature dropped, in complete silence except for the sounds of them breathing, and then a little later, Spock's teeth chattering. Jim watched with growing concern as Spock shivered violently, and then, suddenly, Spock announced that his ears would get frostbite soon. "Is that a figure of speech, Spock?" Kirk asked.  
"No, Captain. That would be greatly illogical. My ears get cold much faster than the rest of me, and I am more susceptible to cold than you are. They will be frostbitten soon."  
"If you had to have your ears amputated, then how would Bones tease you? I won't let them get frostbitten, Spock."  
"Thank you for your reassurance, Captain, but I don't know what you plan to do about it-"  
Kirk had leaned in close and was puffing warm breaths onto Spock's ear. "Jim," Spock said with something Jim could have sworn was a moan or a squeak of he didn't know better.  
But he did, of course, and so he continued to exhale on Spock's ear, cupping the other one so it wouldn't freeze either. Spock shivered, from the cold, obviously. "Jim, I-"  
Kirk was rubbing the tip of Spock's other ear. "Yes, Spock, what is it?"  
"Jim, my ears..."  
"Are they still cold?" He asked.  
"Negative, Captain. They are a much more satisfactory temperature."  
"Well, then, what is it?"  
"My ears...they're...sensitive." Spock admitted.  
"Sensitive sensitive or just sensitive?"  
"I don't follow, Jim. What is the difference?"  
Kirk sighed. "Sensitive as in..." he trailed off, deciding how to word it, "stimulating sensitive, or sensitive to the cold?"  
Spock raised an eyebrow. "Both, Captain."  
Kirk went bright red. "I'm sorry, Spock, I didn't know."  
"No, i-it's fine, Jim." The  
The Captains's communicator beeped, interrupting the awkward silence. "Kirk here."  
"Captain, we found the problem quicker than we thought. We think we've got it working again."  
"Very well, Scotty. Beam us up."  
The shimmering light disappeared and Kirk and Spock sat there, shivering. "She's working right as rain again, Captain."  
"Thank you, Scotty, you're a marvel." Kirk said, and then stopped dead at hearing Spock's voice say that, not his.  
"Captain?" Jim's voice asked.  
"Mr. Spock?" Scotty asked, looking at Spock's body with Jim in it.  
"I am over here, Mr. Scott." Spock said.  
"Scotty?" Asked Kirk, "I don't think the transporter's fixed."


	2. In which Spock comes to terms with his feelings for Kirk, Bones is sassy, and literally everyone on the bridge ships it

Kirk and Spock walked down the hallway, discussing their predicament. "We could go to the sickbay and talk to the doctor." Spock suggested.   
"Yeah, Bones might be able to help." Kirk agreed.   
The door to the sickbay swooshed open, and Spock and Jim sat down beside one of the beds. "Hello, Jim." McCoy said rounding the corner.   
"Hello Bones," Kirk greeted from Spock's body.   
"Spock?" McCoy asked incredulously.   
"Hello, doctor." Spock said from where he was sitting beside Kirk.   
"What the hell?" McCoy muttered to himself as he glanced back and forth between Kirk and Spock.   
"There was a transporter malfunction, doctor. I now inhabit the Captains's body, and he inhabits mine."   
McCoy murmured something about 'damn newfangled transporter technology' and 'I always said this would happen'.   
"Bones, do you think you can help?"   
"I'm not messing with whatever that thing did to you. Might make it impossible for you to get back to normal."   
"Other suggestions, Mr. Spock?"   
"The only logical solution is to wait for the transporter to be fixed."   
"If we fix it, how can we be sure we won't stay like this? The transporter working properly might not be able to restore our spirits to our bodies."   
"That seems like a logical conjecture, Captain. Are you willing to risk it?"   
"Are you, Mr. Spock?"   
McCoy just rolled his eyes as Kirk and Spock stared at each other. "I am, Jim." Spock said eventually.   
"Well, we can't risk going down onto the planet again tonight, not with the temperatures it gets down to. It would be madness."   
"Jim, would it be possible to do it on a different planet?" McCoy asked.   
"Mr. Spock?"   
"Possible, but improbable. There may be matter left on the planet that would be essential."   
"Like what?" Snapped McCoy.   
"Like the bottom of Jim's ear." Spock indicated where a piece of Kirk's ear was missing.   
"Point taken, Spock. We'll beam down tomorrow." Kirk pressed the button on the communications panel. "Mr. Scott?"   
"Scott here. What can I do for you, Captain?"   
"I need you to stop work on the transporter."   
"Why, Captain? We've almost got 'er!"   
"Stop now, Mr. Scott. It's highly possible we need the transporter in the same condition to restore our spirits to our bodies."   
"Aye aye, Captain. Scott out."   
"Well, that's settled, then. We'll beam down tomorrow. But for now, will you sleep in the Captains's Quarters, or will I, Mr. Spock?"   
Bones muttered something under his breath about 'damn Vulcan boyfriends' and 'fucking sexual tension's killing me'.   
"What was that, Bones?" Kirk asked, a small smile flickering at the corners of his mouth.   
"Nothing, Jim." McCoy said, slightly shocked at what it would look like to have Spock smile.   
"If you sleep in your quarters it might arouse suspicion, but if you sleep in my quarters, you will probably find them not to your liking at all."   
Kirk pursed his (well, Spock's) lips as he considered. "We'll sleep in our own quarters, Spock." He decided eventually.   
"As you wish, Captain."   
McCoy just shook his head as he watched Kirk and Spock leaving the sickbay. Jim needed to get his act together.   
Jim and Spock strode down the hallway, Spock entering his quarters and Kirk continuing on to the Captain's Quarters. He got a few strange looks as he walked in the door to his room. He looked in the mirror, taking every detail of Spock's face. One of his eyebrows was missing completely, and on HIS body, part of his ear was missing. Who knew what else was missing? (With his luck, probably part of his dick). And who the hell knew if his plan would work, but he had to try. He fell into a fitful sleep, waking up sweating several times during the night, but he couldn't remember what he was dreaming about. Spock, on the other hand, didn't sleep, but meditated on what he would do, should the transporter idea fail, and, more importantly, what was he feeling for Jim Kirk? He was a Vulcan, a being with hidden emotions, but he was also half-human. But this seemed stronger than his human feelings. Perhaps he was losing his grip on his Vulcan emotions. Spock considered this possibility; that his captain was capable of bringing out his carefully controlled, but very strong, Vulcan emotions. He didn't know what he thought about that. He did know that he was feeling attraction, even love, for Jim Kirk.   
Kirk was already sitting in his chair when Spock arrived. "Hello, captain." Spock said, nodding to the rest of the officers on the bridge.   
"Hello, Mr. Spock." Jim remarked nonchalantly, "When will it be safe to beam down to the planet's surface, Spock?"   
"Soon, Captain. We have to wait until the temperature reaches an acceptable level to beam down."   
Sulu leaned over to Chekov. "Oh my." he whispered, wiggling his eyebrows.   
Chekov suppressed a laugh and nodded.   
Spock kept checking his instruments. Kirk got up and looked over Spock's shoulder. Sulu and Uhura exchanged knowing glances. Bones came onto the bridge, saw Kirk looking over Spock's shoulder with a hand on his back, turned around, and left. Sulu had to stuff his fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing. "Captain, the planet's temperature is acceptable. Should we beam down?"   
"Affirmative, Mr. Spock. The sooner we beam down, the more time Scotty has to fix the transporter."   
"Agreed, Captain."   
"Well then, what are we waiting for, Mr. Spock?" Kirk smirked and got up. "Mr. Sulu, take command."   
"Yessir."   
"Let's go, Mr. Spock." Kirk pressed the com button on his chair. "Scotty?"   
"Scott here."   
"We're heading to you now. We'll beam down and then wait for you to fix the transporter, if it works."   
"Aye, Captain. We'll be ready."   
"Thank you, Scotty. As the door shut behind Kirk and Spock, Sulu started laughing. "What's up with the Captain?" He asked.   
"Doctor McCoy might now." Uhura said.   
"Well, he did seem to know something, considering how fast he got out of here."   
Uhura pressed a button on her console and asked for Dr. McCoy. "McCoy here. What is it?"   
"What's going on with the Captain and Spock? They're acting like the other."   
"There was a transporter malfunction and their spirits swapped bodies, apparently."   
"Oh my." Was all Sulu said.


	3. In which Kirk and Spock become telepathic, Kirk swears a bunch, and their spirits are returned to their bodies

   
In the transporter room, Scotty was making sure Kirk and Spock wouldn't die accidentally. "Captain. Supposing this doesn't work and our spirits remain in the wrong bodies, what will we do?"  
"Let's cross that bridge if we come to it, Spock. Ready, Mr. Scott?"  
"Ready, Captain."  
"Energize."  
Scotty slid the bars up, and the Captain and his First Officer (granted in different bodies) shimmered into nothingness. They appeared on the windblown, frosty surface of Theta III. Kirk raised a hand experimentally, glad to see the familiar yellow shirt instead of his Vulcan science officer's blue clad one. (Also his dick was intact, which was always a good thing.) "Well, Spock?" Kirk asked, happy to hear his own voice when he talked again.  
Spock flexed his fingers. "It is good to be restored to my body, Captain."  
Kirk flipped open his communicator. "Mr. Scott?"  
"Scott here. Did it work?"  
Jim chuckled. "Yes it did, Scotty. We have been restored."  
"I'm glad to hear it, Captain. We'll get right on the repairs."  
"Thank you, Mr. Scott. Kirk out." Jim flipped the communicator shut again. "What now, Spock?"  
"We wait, Captain."  
Kirk touched his ear, testing if the beaming had restored the piece. It had. Spock's eyebrow was back as well. They were sitting, and then Spock started saying the times tables (he does this whenever he's being emotive - it keeps him on track). "Spock," Kirk said, turning to face the Vulcan, "Why are you reciting times tables?"  
Spock stopped dead. "Jim…" he said, "I wasn't saying them,"  
"But I heard you, Spock."  
"-I was thinking them." Spock finished.  
"I don't understand, Spock."  
"I believe that we can hear each other's thoughts."  
Kirk went on a cursing spree in his mind. "Captain, that language is very inappropriate." Spock stated.  
"I'm sorry, Spock." Kirk said. "Sometimes I just have to vent."  
"It's fine, Captain. It has been difficult recently."  
Jim had no idea what to say next. (Or think next, realistically.) Fortunately, he didn't have to. His communicator chirped and he flipped it open. "Kirk here. What's going on?"  
"We've got the transporter repaired, sir. Are you ready to beam up?"  
"Yes, Scotty." Kirk said, standing. "Beam us up."  
"Aye, Captain."  
The two figures disappeared off of Theta III, and reappeared in the transporter room, both in their proper bodies. Spock thought that they should explain what had happened to the crew. He didn't get a response. "Jim?" He asked as they walked back to the bridge, "can you still hear my thoughts?"  
"I don't know, Spock. Try."  
Spock thought about his feelings (which he had decided were love) for Kirk, who showed no sign of reaction. "Captain?" Spock asked.  
"Yes?"  
"Did you hear me?"  
"No, I didn't."  
Spock raised an eyebrow, but didn't reiterate what he had thought. "We should explain to the crew." Spock said.  
"Yeah, we should." Kirk wondered how many of his thoughts Spock had heard. "Shall we?"  
Spock nodded his assent and followed Kirk through the halls. The doors to the bridge slid open, and Sulu immediately stood up. "Captain."  
"Thank you, Mr. Sulu."  
Sulu looked from Kirk to Spock. "Are you...back in your proper bodies?"  
"Yes." Kirk said, slightly taken aback.  
He and Spock took their positions again, and left the orbit of that planet. 


	4. In which McCoy intervenes, Kirk gets a boner, and Spock is very predictable (and also gets a boner)

The buzzer went off in Kirk’s room. “Come.” He said.  
McCoy came in and sat across from Kirk at the desk. “Hello, Bones. What can I do for you?”  
Bones poured Kirk a glass of brandy, slid it over to him, and then poured one for himself. “Talk to me.” He said.  
Kirk took a swig of the brandy. “What do you want me to say?”  
McCoy paused to take a drink. “Spock.” He said.  
“What about him?”  
Bones rolled his eyes. "Jim, pardon me if I'm overstepping my boundaries here, but you need to get yourself together."  
Kirk pursed his lips. "Explain?"  
"Well, Spock, of course! Though why you'd choose to fall for that green-blooded Hobgoblin is beyond me.."  
A smile played around Jim's lips. “Is it really that obvious?” Bones blinked at the captain for a few moments, before laughing to himself and taking another drink of brandy. “I knew it, Jim. Now what do you plan to do about it?”  
“What do you mean, Bones?”  
“Tell him, you fucking idiot!”  
Kirk raised his eyebrows. “And if I do, what then?”  
McCoy grinned. “Well, presumably (and I’m speaking from a distanced point of view here, Jim) he’ll tell you he’s surprised that you do, and then he’ll tell you that it is illogical, and then he’ll kiss you.”  
Kirk’s eyebrows shot up farther than they already were. "You're pulling my leg, Bones. There's no way that could happen."  
McCoy set down his glass (a little bit more forcefully than necessary). "Dammit, Jim, I can see all of this and I'm telling you what I see!"  
"You really think so?"  
"Would I be in here talking to you if I didn't see it with my own eyes! I'm a doctor, not a mind reader!"  
Kirk sighed, then leaned forward intently. "You're sure?"  
Bones rolled his eyes. "Of course I'm sure, Jim. You'd have to be blind not to see it."  
Kirk chuckled to himself. "Very well, Bones. I'll talk to him."  
McCoy shook an accusing finger at Jim. "You better." He said, standing and picking up the brandy.  
"I will, Bones. I will."  
McCoy walked through the doors as they slid open, and then they shut behind him. Kirk sat, staring at his hands, thinking, for a long time (and in thinking about Spock (and his ears), got a semi). What McCoy had said couldn't be true. But he seemed so sure. Could it be true? The only reasonable thing Kirk could think of was to follow Bones's advice.  
So, when his door slid open and Spock came in, he considered it a stroke of luck. (He always did but especially this time.) "Captain."  
"Yes, Mr. Spock?" Kirk stood up.  
"Dr. McCoy sent me to remind you of something. He didn't say what, he said you would know. It seems very illogical to send me when he could have just come himself."  
Kirk smiled at Spock, who had sat down across from where he had been sitting. He walked around behind Spock, hoping the science officer hadn't seen the growing tent in his pants (Spock's presence was not helping him get it back down). He desperately hoped that his growing boner would not end up poking into Spock's back. He was wrong. "What was it that the doctor sent me to remind you of - Captain, would you please take the phaser away from my back? It is not safe."  
Kirk glanced down and went red. Fuck. That choice of word did not help. Kirk ran through options in his head. What was the best option? "Captain-"  
"That's...not a phaser, Mr. Spock." Kirk admitted.  
The silence hung so thick you could have cut it with a knife (or a phaser). Eventually, Spock, having processed the entire situation (logically, of course), let out a small "Oh."  
Kirk imagined thee worst. Spock was actually desperately trying to suppress the feelings he had. Jim Kirk stepped back as Spock turned around and stood up. "Jim."  
"Yes, Spock?" Kirk braced himself for what Spock was surely about to say, probably something logical and along the lines of 'I don't feel the same way'.  
"I am very curious as to what exactly I was sent to remind you of."  
Kirk stared at Spock for seconds that seemed to drag on forever. "Spock.."  
"Yes, Captain?"  
Kirk considered for a moment what he was going to say. "I have been informed by Dr. McCoy that it is vey obvious how I feel about you." He sauntered a little closer to Spock.  
Spock raised an eyebrow. "And how is that?"  
Kirk glanced down. "Well, I believe that this could be self-explanatory, but if you need it in words-"  
"You surprise me, Captain."  
"How?"  
"It is most illogical for you to have fallen for me, as I am not capable of returning the emotion." Spock said, trying once more to try and squash his feelings.  
Kirk noted that he was following Bones's prediction to the letter, so far. "Come on, Spock. That's not true."  
Spock raised his eyebrow again. "An illogical assumption, considering that I have proved on many occasions that I cannot."  
"But you've proved to me on as many occasions that you can,"  
"Jim-"  
"Spock." Kirk stepped forward and placed his hand on Spock's shoulder.  
Spock was fighting an inner battle of whether to follow his impulses and kiss Jim, or to be logical and rational and to not. Kirk's other hand found it's way to Spock's shoulder. Spock put one of his hands on Kirk's wrist. Kirk wrapped his fingers around Spock's. Spock blushed (slightly green) and tightened his grip, interlacing his fingers with Jim's. "Ashayam..." Spock murmured on an impulse (VERY ILLOGICAL. IMPULSES ARE VERY ILLOGICAL.), aware in some corner of his brain that was still functioning logically that he was aroused. VERY aroused.  
"What?" Kirk whispered, leaning in closer to Spock, "What does that mean?"  
Spock blushed, and hesitated. "It means 'beloved'..." he admitted finally.  
Kirk's eyes widened. "Really?"  
Spock raised a sardonic (sort of, it was less controlled than usual) eyebrow. "Jim, it would be illogical for me to lie to you about this."  
Kirk smiled softly at Spock, and then closed the distance that had been growing shorter and shorter while they were talking. 


	5. In which Spock is surprisingly good at fellatio, Alerts are annoying, and Bones is smug

Their hands moved more to the middle between them, like they were dancing. Kirk pressed Spock up against the wall, the kiss a little bit more fiery than before. He separated one of his hands from Spock's to flail around and manage to hit the 'lock' button on the wall (fortunately, there had been remodelling done on the ship, so the lock button was no longer by the open button.) Kirk would have used the voice command but his mouth was otherwise occupied. Spock's free hand reached up and curled in Jim's hair, tugging slightly as Kirk slipped a hand under Spock's shirt. The Vulcan's skin seemed to come alive as Jim's fingers left fiery trails wherever they touched. It was thrilling, passionate, and even honest, as the walls they had put up to hide their feelings from the other came crumbling down one by one. It was like all the times they had almost kissed, all the times they had been kind-of sort-of flirting with each other, all the unresolved sexual tension that Kirk tried to satisfy (with not very satisfying results) and Spock managed to push down somehow, had all been fed into this one kiss. The hands that were still joined separated, Kirk's to run through Spock's hair, and Spock's to caress Jim's back. In his travels through Spock's hair, Kirk brushed against the Vulcan's ear, and a shiver ran through his body. Spock spun Jim around, pressing up against him, wanting more physical contact than was probably possible. A chuckle rumbled in Kirk's throat as his hands were reclaimed and pinned against the wall, fingers intertwined again. Through his hands, Spock could feel all of Kirk's desire, his appreciation for Spock...his love. Though Kirk would never admit it to anyone (except Spock, who already knew because he was a touch telepath) it was nice to be able to let someone else take control, to not be responsible, to just let himself be lost in the affection and passion - the list went on. And he would have been happy to stay like that for a long time, pressed against the wall by Spock, except that his cock was aching and straining against its confines and he really hadn't been this sexually aroused in at least a year (his attempts to repress his love for Spock had been quickly getting less and less effective). He reluctantly pulled away from two of the three kisses, hazel eyes dark with desire and lips pink and slick, to tug on the bottom hem of Spock's shirt. "Spock," he murmured, "I-"  
The Vulcan's lips quirked up into a smirk and he took his other hand from Kirk's, letting his fingers trail along Jim's arm for a bit. "Understood.."  
He pulled the blue shirt over his head, and then slid his hands under Kirk's green special dress tunic. He slowly pushed it up, hands exploring (and categorizing, no doubt) what places made the Captain gasp and say his name pleadingly. He was a shaking, gasping mess by the time Spock pulled the shirt off of his arms. It was said that Jim Kirk had fantastic bedroom eyes. His had nothing on Spock's, pupils dilated and lust-blown, staring at Kirk with such adoration and love, that his knees felt quite weak, like all their strength had fled to his erection, which raged even more under Spock's stare. The Vulcan began trailing sensuous, fiery kisses down Kirk's bare chest, pausing for a while to lavish attention on Kirk's already alert nipples, and then continued downward, making Jim's skin burn with desire everywhere Spock's lips touched. And then Spock was unzipping his pants slowly, breaths coming in short, soft puffs as he slid the black garment off Kirk's hips to pool around his ankles. Kirk drew in his breath sharply as Spock's fingers delicately freed his straining cock from his boxers, those GORGEOUS eyes never breaking the stare. Kirk probably could have come just with Spock's shaky exhalation on the tip of his cock and the bloody fantastic bedroom eyes, (like I said. The many women thing? Not very satisfying for a certain very sexually frustrated starship captain) but then Spock's mouth was on the tip of his cock, and Kirk had literally never felt anything so amazing as that. It was like his whole body was floating, liquid desire running through his veins, his mind somewhere far, far away on a cloud nine of euphoria. Even during his other sexual experiences (and he had had a LOT) literally nothing had ever cone close to this feeling. His hands wound themselves tightly in Spock's hair when said Vulcan, having satisfied his need to taste Jim on the tip of his cock (and probably document the most sensitive spots), decided to slowly make his way down the length of Kirk's dick, tongue attempting (and probably succeeding) to map every centimeter it could. It felt amazing, especially so when Spock managed to take all of him in his mouth. Mind-blowing was the only way to describe it. He was fighting the ever-growing urge to buck his hips into Spock's talented mouth, pretty much all of his mind ascending to that euphoric cloud, legs shaking, when an alarm ripped through the ship. "Alert. Alert. Captain Kirk to the bridge. Captain Kirk to the bridge." Sulu's voice said over the comm.  
Kirk's eyes popped open, his thoughts crashing down from the metaphorical cloud. "Spock," he protested weakly, "we need to-"  
Spock pulled off slowly, with an obscene pop. "Affirmative, Captain."  
Jim shook his head, trying to clear the haze from his mind. He had to go be a starship captain, had to be decisive. Their lives were likely at stake here. Why did this always happen to him? He picked a different shirt from the selection he had and put it on the table, not relishing the task of bringing his erection down. But do it he had to, so he turned the shower as cold as it would go and stepped in. It was fucking freezing (which was good) but he was so aroused that it took him three minutes to get it down again. He stepped out, finding that Spock had somehow managed to put his shirt on, bring his erection down, and clean himself up so not a hair was out of place, through some Vulcan strength of will. The only thing that was different was that there was a slight green tint to Spock's cheeks and ears that surely wasn't there before. Meanwhile, Kirk struggled into his shirt, pants, and boots, sure he looked utterly debauched. His hair was a mess, even though he tried to smooth it down, and he was sure that literally EVERYONE on the bridge would know. "How do you do it, Mr. Spock?" Kirk asked as they ran down the hallway for the turbolift.  
"Do what, Captain?" Spock asked when they were inside.  
"Get yourself all perfect-looking again in only three minutes, while I'm here looking like I just got the best blowjob of my life?"  
Spock smirked, taking the compliment. "The Vulcan mind is very disciplined, and arousal is only one of many feelings."  
"That still doesn't explain how you managed to-"  
The doors slid open, revealing an agitated bridge crew and a pair of Klingon vessels on the viewscreen. Bones, who was standing by the Captains's chair, just smiled knowingly and winked at Kirk. Jim gave McCoy the 'I have literally been interrupted during the best blowjob of my life by this shit and I am not prepared to deal with yours' face, or as the so-called 'fangirls' who liked the old earth show Supernatural described it, 'Bitchface #30, I have just been interrupted during sex with my amazing boyfriend and you will proceed to shut the fuck up'.  
As Kirk flopped in his chair, Bones leaned over and whispered "I told you so."  
Kirk knew Spock had heard (Vulcan ears for the win) and he decided to take it up with the good doctor later. He had to switch into Captain mode now. "Lieutenant Uhura, open hailing frequencies."  
"Aye aye, Captain. Hailing frequencies open, sir."  
"This is Captain Kirk, of the U.S.S. Enterprise."  
The face of the Klingon commander appeared on the viewscreen in place of his two ships. "Greetings, Captain Kirk. We mean no harm."  
Although Kirk was suspicious, he negotiated with the Klingon commander well, and both parties continued on their way. And although Kirk couldn't see how Spock was looking at him, Bones could (literally everyone on the bridge could) and he was honestly just glad the two most emotionally repressed idiots on the ship (except for maybe Sulu and Chekov) had finally gotten their act together and gotten it on (except they really hadn't because of the fucking Klingons). And once the negotiations were complete, Kirk decided that he really couldn't get any more obvious, so he left immediately. With Spock. 


	6. In which they finally frick and frack, technically get married, and the doorbell is fucking annoying but they don't give a shit anymore because they're too busy being married (also poor Bones)

As soon as the door of Kirk's room slid shut and was locked, Spock pushed Kirk against the wall and slid his hands under his shirt, connecting their lips with the same fire he'd had before they were interrupted by the FUCKING KLINGONS. Kirk felt his cock jump just thinking about what else Spock could do, if his mouth was that talented. Fuck, it was hot, the way Spock could totally dominate him in every way, pressing him against a wall, the whole shebang. Spock internalized this information for (hopefully) many more encounters of this nature (sexual). And then there was no more room in Kirk's mind for thoughts, except profanities, because Spock did this AMAZING thing with his hands that Kirk couldn't describe except that it felt, well, amazing. A shudder of pleasure ran down Kirk's spine and sparked even more interest in his confined nethers (if that were possible), as he involuntarily (but not unwillingly) thrust his hips up, seeking more friction. Spock groaned, as he was experiencing both his arousal and Jim's, because of the contact of his hands on the Captain's skin. Kirk, wanting to feel more of Spock's skin, pulled futilely on the black collar of the science-blue shirt. Spock (who had already felt Jim's desire for more skin through his hands) removed himself entirely from the Captain's embrace, despite the very erotic whine of protest, and started to remove his shirt. Kirk darted forward immediately, an impish grin on his face. "Let me do it for you." He murmured, catching Spock's wrists.  
Spock could only nod as Jim slid his hands under both Spock's Starfleet shirt and his black undershirt, fingers spreading out and exploring the new area. As he pushed them up and Spock assisted him in getting them off of his arms (starship captains overcome by homoerotic desires are not the most capable), Kirk couldn't help but let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Spock's chest (he had, thanks to the Nazis), but he'd never seen it in this sense or situation. The shirts were tossed somewhere on the floor (even Spock didn't care at this point), as Kirk tried to get closer to the Vulcan than was probably possible. Spock spun Kirk around and manoeuvred them so they fell on the thinnish orange bed with a soft thud. Spock (also overcome by homoerotic desires), attempted to take Jim's shirt off, but it proved to be more difficult than that, because both of their enthusiasms at the same time were making it difficult for Kirk to get the damn thing off. With a frustrated (but erotic) rumble in his throat, Spock just ripped it off (please. If Kirk can rip it just by being thrown down by a Very Convincing Alien, Spock can totally rip it). Both halves of the yellow garment were discarded off the side of the bed, and Spock returned to ravishing Kirk's mouth. He broke away (after quite some time) to trail rough kisses down Kirk's neck, pausing to suck a hickey into his skin where his neck met his shoulder (the spot of the Vulcan Neck Pinch, incidentally). While Spock was otherwise occupied, Jim took two of Spock's fingers and ran his tongue along them. A shiver wracked Spock's entire body, and he impulsively rutted up against Kirk, who moaned at the sudden addition of friction. Kirk (deciding that this was a VERY good idea), continued licking Spock's fingers, letting his teeth graze them every now and then. Spock (now impossibly hard), growled from deep in his throat and started trying to remove Kirk's pants (in a lust-fuelled, clumsy sort of way) in a desperate need to claim him. Kirk sighed in relief as his black Starfleet-issued pants were slid off his hips and subsequently tossed on the floor. He watched in rapt attention, propping himself up on his elbows, as Spock's joined his, his tongue absently flicking out to lick his already swollen lips at the sight of Spock's (probably quite illogical) erection separated from him by only a thin layer of cloth. Spock's fingers hooked under the waistband of his boxers, sliding them down over his hips, and then off his legs. There was about a beat of total silence where they both stared at each other (checked each other out), then Kirk broke the silence by saying "If I do that thing with your fingers again, will you fuck me into the mattress?"  
That seemed to flip some kind of switch inside Spock (provided it hadn't been flipped before. Kirk's pretty good at flipping switches), and he turned Kirk over. The captain (figuring out what was happening rather quickly) adjusted himself so it would be easier for Spock, who was presently - as he would say it - 'attempting to locate lubrication'. Jim, noticing this, told Spock where to find it (in the second drawer from the top). He felt the bed shift as Spock got back on, in between his legs, and he heard the snap of the bottle, and then low (and probably badly suppressed, by Vulcan standards) groans as Spock put the lube on both his cock and his fingers. Kirk moaned as Spock slid one finger into him, turning himself on more as he reminded himself that this was already essentially sex to Spock. Another finger was added, and another, all carefully avoiding his prostate. Kirk rocked back on the three fingers, trying to get the right angle. "Spock - shit - hurry up and fuck me!" He gasped out, desperate.  
"As you wish, Jim." Spock said (with just a trace of amusement), as he removed his fingers, ignoring the whiny protest that came from Kirk. (He had to suppress his own groan because Vulcan finger sensitivity ftw).  
He lined himself up and pressed into Kirk, who moaned VERY loudly. (Thank goodness for soundproof Starfleet rooms, eh?) He ran his hands down Kirk's arched back, waiting a bit to let the captain adjust. "Want to see you..." Kirk mumbled into the mattress.  
Spock obliged him, flipping Kirk over again, and then started to thrust quite quickly. Kirk (enjoying the experience of being throughly fucked into a mattress), recalled how this was all because of Bones. "Please refrain from thinking about Dr. McCoy, Jim." Spock said, stilling.  
Kirk (who wasn't sure if he could actually bring himself to form a coherent sentence or not) nodded enthusiastically. "I won't." he managed.  
A small smirk quirked the corner of the Vulcans lips as he resumed his thrusting into Kirk, each one carefully angled. His name was pouring out of Kirk's mouth, along with praises and lots and lots of swears. Both knew they wouldn't last long (especially Kirk), but it came as a shock just how quickly the end arrived. Kirk came first, Spock's name on his lips (for, like, the 1701st time), but Spock wasn't far behind. Kirk convinced himself he had imagined the feeling of orgasming again as Spock did. Both of them collapsed in a heap on the bed, not caring about much other than being well fucked (Kirk), and having achieved a basic bond (Spock). Jim wasn't sure if Vulcans cuddled, but Spock certainly wasn't objecting to it, so cuddle he would. Spock was dimly aware of the sappy nature of Kirk's thoughts through the crude bond, and it suddenly became quite clear to him that he wanted to actually fully bond with the captain. After Kirk had sufficiently got his breath back (he had just been fucked into the mattress, after all), he considered asking about that second orgasm-ish thing he'd had, but didn't really know how to ask. After some consideration (for Kirk this is usually about 5 seconds), he decided against it, fairly sure it was just a strange aftershock. "Captain'" Spock said from behind him (they had started spooning, because they're hopelessly in love), "that was not just a 'strange aftershock', as you think. It was, in fact, the beginnings of a bond."  
Kirk tensed for a moment, and then relaxed, remembering that Spock was a touch telepath. "A bond?" He asked.  
Even after the incident with T'Pring and Stonn, Kirk had never really understood the Vulcan bond, and he hadn't wanted to ask Spock to explain it to him, since his First Officer was so reluctant to talk about Pon Farr and anything related to it. "It is the Vulcan equivalent of betrothal, Jim. The bondmates can communicate wordlessly through it-"  
"So - hypothetically - if a Vulcan and a human bonded, would they still be able to communicate using the bond? Hypothetically, of course." Kirk interrupted.  
"Jim, it would be a strain on you to do this-"  
"I don't care, if you don't mind. For you, it would be like being only half-present all the time, because you're a telepath, right?"  
"That is correct, Jim." Spock said, pressing two of his fingers to the pads of Kirk's (a Vulcan kiss).  
"Well, then, is it even a question?" Kirk mumbled, enjoying the heat that was radiating off the Vulcan behind him.  
"Are you positi-" Spock started, but Kirk cut him off with an actual kiss before he could get any farther.  
"I'm positive." He said (with his classic 'Kirky Charm' grin).  
Spock, not able to help the small smile on his lips, nodded and placed his fingertips on the meld points on Kirk's face. For Spock, who had been sort-of bonded before, this wasn't a new experience. For Kirk, however, this was completely foreign. He had an odd sensation of falling, although he knew (somehow) that he wouldn't fall. And then Spock was there, not Spock in the physical sense, but everything that WAS Spock. The cold Jim hadn't known was there faded away. Without warning, Kirk found himself pulled out of the strange dream world and back into his own body. He blinked his eyes open, and was suddenly overwhelmed by a flood of affection and love. It took him a moment to process that he was feeling what Spock felt for him through the newly-formed bond. When he did, he opened the floodgates of his feelings for Spock. And fuck did he have a lot, what with having been pining after him for so long (two seasons of a tv show god Jim control your thirst). What Kirk hadn't realized until this point was just how emotive Vulcans actually were, underneath the logic and the claims to not having feelings. As he and Spock joined fingers again, Jim felt what Spock felt whenever their hands touched. In that moment, he resolved to touch Spock's hands as much as he could. Both of them were so caught up in this simple feeling of togetherness that they didn't hear the doorbell buzz. It buzzed again, longer (and would you believe it, angrier), and - not receiving an answer - again, even longer than before. Eventually, after buzzing about 5 times, a cranky voice shouted "Jim, I don't know what you're doing in there but you'd better answer me!"  
McCoy (because of course it was him) added under his breath "...unless you and that pointy-eared hobgoblin have finally gotten it on in which case good for you, don't let me interrupt."  
When he still received no answer (Kirk and Spock didn't give a shit, they were too busy being adorably married), he entered the medical override code and made his way cautiously into Kirk's room. He rounded the corner to where the bed was, and literally stopped dead in his tracks. Jim had finally pulled his shit together (which was good), but that was something he DEFINITELY didn't need to see. Of course, he was never going to let Spock live this down, what with the soft (sappy) smile on his face and the way he looked so relaxed with Jim - he could go on. Of course, both of them were completely naked (the blanket was somewhere on the floor) and he needed to get THE FUCK out of there. Kirk went bright red, and a green tint spread to the tips of Spock's ears. McCoy stammered something about checking on the patients in sickbay which was probably barely cohesive, and left at least 1701 times faster than he came in. Jim giggled and pressed a soft kiss to the bridge of Spock's nose (which was green because he was still blushing). Spock picked up on Kirk's amusement through their bond, and he touched their fingers together again. They lay there, happy, sated, and completely in love for who knows how long before Spock murmured a single word in Vulcan. "T'hy'la." He said, and then repeated, "My T'hy'la."  
"What does that mean, Spock?" Kirk asked. (He had a pretty good idea from the emotions he was awash in via the bond, but he wanted to know the exact meaning.)  
"It means friend, brother, and lover."  
Kirk broke out into a sappy grin as he leaned his forehead against Spock's. "So I'm your T'hy'la, huh?" He teased, then pressed a second kiss to Spock's nose. "I love you too."  
It was Spock's turn to break out into a sappy grin (or the Vulcan equivalent anyways). "I love you, Jim." He repeated, really and truly alright with his feelings now.  
Kirk stared into Spock's eyes for a while (can you blame him), and then he reached out a finger and poked his nose. "Boop!" He said.  
Spock raised an eyebrow. Kirk did it again. "Boop!"  
The eyebrow stayed raised, but there was just a flicker of amusement in Spock's voice. "That is highly illogical, T'hy'la." He deadpanned.  
Jim fell back on the mattress and laughed. Spock just raised both his eyebrows (in the Ultimate Sass) and shrugged. Who knew what other strange things Jim - no, his T'hy'la - would do next? He certainly didn't. Spock's last thought before Kirk pulled him down for a casual kiss was that whatever he did next, it was sure to be illogical.


End file.
